I've noticed of late that my Newgrounds user page has become my little hub of internet-related rantings. Well, that's alright. I can live with that, since I really need somewhere to get it all off my chest, so it might as well be here on my own little page, rather than directly plumbed down the throats of internet users. Unlike many, many forum users.

Forums. I tend to avoid them like the plague and my ex-wife combined, but they're everywhere. So very hard to avoid them. Google searches for obscure topics or questions tend to point to some random page of a random forum, somewhere off in Internet Land. Sometimes actually fairly useful. Most of the time, not so much. Forum users seem to be of a particular breed, a special internet personality I like to refer to as Practical Gabe Theorists. This obscure term comes from Penny Arcade, long-standing pillar of the webcomic community. John Gabriels Greater Internet Dickwad Theory clearly states - "Normal Person plus Anonymity plus Audience equals Total Dickwad". And for the most part, he's completely correct.

We've all met them. If anyone other than me is actually reading this, then you might even be one of them. Forum users who know it all, will never ever concede a point to anyone else, and seem to scale their general foul attitude directly alongside their post count. Got no clue about the topic? Glance over Wikipedia and claim all knowledge. Arguing a matter of pure opinion, such as taste in music? Well, you need to be taken out behind whatever building you're in and be shot, as you're the worst of the lot. No-one but me can tell me what music I like. Deal with it.

Pointless posts, you cry? Fantastic. Let's make a poll, asking which one of three specific games I should buy. You don't need to know how I came up with this shortlist. Maybe I already own the other hot titles avaliable at the moment? Maybe I don't want to? These are the three I'm choosing between. Let's give it an hour... Yep, 400 posts arguing that I should really buy a game that's not on my list, as it's better than all of them. Nice work, Internets.

And don't even get me started on the sheer mind-numbing level of awful internet lingo you'll dig up on forums. I'll save that for another rant, because that one I could rage on all night.

Before I go, a special message. Dear No Mutants Allowed forum users, Fallout 3 is absolutely brilliant. Deal with it.

Love, Robzor.

Sex, sex, sex. It sells. The internet would be a lonely place if it wasn't for porn, as many have remarked upon in the past. And yes, Newgrounds is no different. Another day, another Hentai gallery, quiz, interactive sex cartoon... Now, I've nothing against a bit of light-hearted porn fun, don't get me wrong here, but it seems like they really do get cranked out lately. Seems that some people see the key to getting an instantly popular submission is to gather up some hentai pics from the net, slap them together with a quiz (since I'm fairly sure there's a rule against just submitting image slideshows), and bunging it into the Portal. Just lately the quiz itself has been a laughable excuse to get away with basically being a slideshow.

I like hentai. Mainly for the same reasons I like anime, because the artwork takes skill and anyone who animates knows how complicated the procedure is. That and it's generally more interesting than regular porn. But if I want some good ol' hentai, there are better places to get it than to sit through a weak quiz then click through some pictures. But Sex Sells! So watch that rating soar, and the positive reviews flood in. It's a method I suppose.

Still, random sex fumblings aside, there've been some top quality stuff appearing in the Portal lately, seems to be a good sign for the new year here at Newgrounds. Long may the budding artists and animators of the future show off their works here, for us all to enjoy. Everything by Everyone, right?

Hope anyone who reads this had fun over New Years. We ended up hosting a bit of a house party in the end, so good fun all round. And beer. Beer all round too.

Happy New Beer, everyone!

So, me and my housemates recently had our own House Christmas Day, we put up our tree, exchanged presents and had a proper Christmas dinner. We all pitched in and a good day was had by all. Many beers were had by all, too.

I pop onto Newgrounds the day after, rubbing my head and cursing my hangover, and I see the final part of the "There She Is!" series. Now, I love these cartoons. They tell a lovely story, and in a very fine style. But of course, not everyone likes them. No-one can expect everyone to like everything. Many people didn't, if not at all then just a few things bothering them about it.

So I have a look at the reviews, in rating order.

Surprise, surprise. Anything with a rating of less than 8 was marked as "unhelpful". Almost every single one. And absolutely loads of them were perfectly valid opinions, competent critisism or just their own views on the work, which are theirs alone. I found pretty much all of those ones very helpful indeed, a good insight into another way of looking at things.

But no no no. This isn't the place for sensible review-rating! How dare you rate this movie low, sir? It's massively popular! And I love it! So fuck you! Have an "unhelpful" vote.

I'm fairly motivated to note that all my reviews have been voted helpful so far, in the cases where they've been voted on at all. I'm glad to think I can review in an appreciable way. And, as a very clever person commented on my last news post, there's not a lot we can do except mark things as we see fit and carry on.

Merry Christmas everyone.

It really does. It's funny how a popular game will have several reviews saying little more than "OMG THIS WAS AMAZING LOL" and people will vote those "helpful". However, post some reasoned critisism, a single negative remark, even one fairly stated, will result in the review being marked "unhelpful".

Also, I really wish people would stop submitting every shitty little test Flash or "first movie" they make. Just because you can, doesn't mean you should. What feedback are most of you people really hoping to get? "Well done, you figured out how to use the drawing tools and make a tween"? Stop wasting my time.

Much as I hate to dump on people who're evidently trying something new, I just can't help but instantly blam any 2kb submission with author comments along the lines of "My first flash plz don't blam" and such.

Grumble grumble.